I got engaged and married at 18. While there was a lot we took into serious consideration beforehand, there’s no way Tristan and I could’ve been prepared for everything a young marriage had in store for us. There were lots of things I wasn’t expecting, but getting married young has still been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made! Whether you just got engaged, are thinking about engagement, or are single and just considering the idea of getting married young, here are 6 things you should think about:
This post may contain affiliate links. To learn more, read my full disclosure policy here
1. People will judge
If I had a dollar for every time someone made a judgmental comment about my marriage, I’d have made more money than my wedding dress cost! 😉 At first I thought that it was because Tristan and I got engaged so quickly (after only dating for 4 months), but after talking with a variety of women who are engaged/got married young, I realized I wasn’t alone. I know young couples who dated for 3+ years and were engaged for over a year before they got married, yet they still received immense criticism from those around them. So if you’re thinking about getting married young, just know that you will most likely receive your fair share of judgmental comments, whether it be from family or outsiders. If you’re already engaged and hearing those comments, remember: it’s not about you, and it’s not about your relationship. The real root of most negative comments you will receive stem out of the pre-disposed bias many have towards the thought of getting married young, and less about your specific situation. It may seem like an extremely personal attack at times, but try to remember that most people are simply speaking out of their own fears, bias, or bitterness.
2. Being married in college can be hard
If you choose to get married before you start or graduate from college, just know that there will be a lot on your plate. It takes time to adjust to married life, and you have to almost completely re-learn time management within the context of marriage. If you get married in while in college, I would encourage you to get married early in the summer, so that you have some time to adjust before college begins! It’s surprising what an adjustment married life truly is, both physically and emotionally.
3. Friends may grow distant
My soul sisters have been by my side through thick and thin, and through my getting married young. However, I have some friends who flat out haven’t spoken to me since I got married. Others I still talk with, but they can’t seem to get past the fact that I’m a wife and that we’re in “two different lanes of life”, which is true. It can be hard to be the first one in your friend group married, yet at the same time you will also be able to connect with so many new people. I love the friendships I have made with other young wives over the past few months! When you get married young you may lose some friends and gain other friends, but know that no matter what, your true friends will always be there for you!
4. You won’t just grow old together, you’ll grow up together too
This is one of my favorite parts of being young! I love learning to do life alongside my man. It can be challenging and scary at times, but I truly believe that “growing up together” strengthens your marriage in such a special way like nothing else will. It’s fun and exciting, and getting to start out your adult life with your spouse by your side makes the journey 100 times better (in my opinion). Another perk is that neither you nor your spouse will be “set in your adult ways” yet, which will make the first few months of living together SO much easier.
5. You get to do all of life together
When you get married young, you will get to share so many more special moments with your spouse. I can’t wait to watch Tristan graduate this spring and start pursuing his career dreams. I love getting to stand alongside him and encourage him as he figures out what path he wants to take. And it’s so much better figuring things out as a team instead of being on your own. Also, you’ll have lots of great memories to look back on when you’re finally a “real adult” (AKA middle-aged. Because I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I’m going to actually start feeling like an adult until I’m at least 35).
6. If it’s what you’re called to, it’s where you’ll be happiest
Both Tristan and I had the desire to get married young before we even met. Getting married at 18 seems crazy to most, but I couldn’t imagine things any other way! There are pros and cons of getting married young, and there are pros and cons of getting married later in life. Ultimately, you should do what you and your partner feel called to do. No matter what the world may say, following your calling is where you’ll be happiest.
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!
If you have any questions about faith, marriage, marriage with a chronic illness, or getting married young that you would like either of us to write a blog post on, let me know in the comments or email me: email@example.com
Be so blessed today!